Gather round my lovelies and listen to a tale fully of despair, bloodshed and hate...No. Just Kidding. But seriously, keep reading. This is a story.

Once upon a time there was a little girl whose family moved from Colorado to Kentucky. Now, this little girl wasn't happy about the move. She liked her school, her friends and her home. But, as we all know, children rarely get any say in the matters of adults.

So, after moving and setting up her room, the little girls family decided to enroll her in a spring break school program so she could get used to the school before to many kids were there. The little girl wore a pretty sunflower dress but was still scared. In the classroom, the teacher told the students to get out their pencils and crayons and draw until class began. The little girl was scared. She didn't have anything with her. But then she looked up. Sitting across from her was a fair complected, red haired little girl. Both of them smiled and said "Hi" and from then on, the two were inseperable.

Through the years the two girls became closer and closer. They liked the same movies, toys and laughed at the same things. Then, after 5th grade graduation, the red haired girl told the other girl, tearfully, that her family was moving away.

Two hearts were broken that day.

They only saw each other about three times over the next two years...but then the little girl who had moved to ky went to the office one day, in middle school, to get a pencil. As she was leaving she noticed a girl sitting in the front office, filling out paperwork. At that moment the girl with red hair looked up and it was like the world had ended. Sitting there, was the red haired girl from elementary school.

Two hearts were mended that day.

And so it continued for years. The two girls faced obstacles and adversaries together. It was like nothing could part them. They never fought seriously, and the one time they did, neither could stray from the other for long.

And so it continued and for over 13 years, I've known what it's like to have a best friend. I really believe that everyone has two soul mates. One, is the soul-mate to your heart and the other, is the soul-mate to your very being. One if the love of your life, the other is the best friend you can't do without. And, Ashley Brown, you're the soul-mate to me. You're the best friend  I could ever ask for...no, you're the only best friend I'd ever ask for.
You've been with me through thick and thin and no matter what, have never abandoned me. You've held my hand when I was scared, wiped my tears when I cried and smacked me when I really needed it...though, I could've gone the rest of my life without being in Godsmack...well, I suppose it's a fond memory. Never before has anyone else smacked me with a bible and said so cheerily, "Look, now you've been godsmacked."

An ode to Bravery and Pseudonyms

I live in a small, rural town. I live in the state where taking a girl on a tractor ride is as good of a first date as would be taking her to a movie and dinner. I live in an area where drugs and alcohol are most teens Friday night plans. Where most girls wear pretty clothes( size zero or below) and bleach their hair.

That's why I know what it's like to be different. Not radically so, in a manner of speaking only.
I'm the girl who had few friends, black clothes and odd views.
I was the girl who was constantly asked if I was Gothic or a witch from curiously spiteful mouthes.
I love the color black and the color purple. I have my ears pierced three times each, along with my nose and lip.  My hair is Crayola crayon red.
Yes, I am weird. Yes, I've been picked on, ridiculed and spited. And Yes, I know people out there that are normal on the outside but get picked on for what's on the inside. And those are the people who deserve praise.

No, they don't always run around and scream their life preferences( I'm not talking dead or alive, preferences you sicko).  They don't wake up one morning and randomly announce they're gay at the breakfast table.
They're the ones who sometimes hold it inside, not out of fear or cowardice of themselves, but out of fear of what will come with an announcement.

Who is going to hate me?

   Who will stop talking to me?
     
      What will my parents say?
        
            Who will understand?

               Who won't?
                 
                     How many people are going to make a big deal out of it?

I can't really speak for this person for I've never gone through what they have. I've never had the thought that I am unhappy being the gender I am.   Sure, being a girl sucks. Come on people one reason: PERIOD. And I'm not talking about the period at the end of an sentence either.

But I guess the worst thing about being either a girl or a boy is if you don't want to be what you came equipped with. And the best thing about the person I'll eventually get around to writing about is just that. But they admit it. I'm sure it is down right frightening to think to the future. For this person, it isn't "What will I be doing ten years from now" it's "What gender will I be? Will I be happy?"

The person I'm trying to praise is none other then Nate or Hayden. Which ever they prefer. I have a friend who is a boy and wants to be a girl. Do I feel proud of this person? No. Is it because I'm a hater of gays, bi's and transsexuals? Hell no. It's because my "friend" was first anorexic then gay then switched to being "a girl trapped in a boys body."  If you were to know this person like I did, then you'd know why I'm not proud of him like I am of Nate. It's because my friend is doing it for attention. That was his life in school. He went with whatever got him attention and when it stopped, he went to something else in a snap of the fingers. So, why should I waste my sparkling-eye-praise on him when I can put it to someone who deserves it. To someone who honestly realizes who they are on the outside and are working towards who they are on the inside.

From what I've read in their own blog, they view themselves as cowardly for having a lot of spirit but not doing anything with it. Let me tell you something.  Bravery doesn't connect only to what you do for others, it connects to what you've done for yourself, Nate. Admitting to the world in your blog that you are what you are, well, that's bravery. And while I'm no Harry Potter (I tried to get into Hogwarts, it just didn't work out, especially when Snape took out an restraining order on me) I'm still proud of you. I'm not disappointed. I never will be.  Kudos to you. Very many kudos.

A Lil' Snip there. A major cut there. Just a Revision.

My Blogs seem to have suffered with my long absence. At this moment in time I wish to rectify that mistake.
First off, this is just a short little post. A few snips here and there. I'm changing this blog. I'm not only going to write about the people I love dearly but also about people whom I beleive have kudos coming to them. A little praise never hurt anyone, well okay. Maybe that one time. Hey, don't blame me. It's not my fault if I boasted about that invention, you know. The one that turned half of the world's vegetables into man eating stalks and bundles of rage. Oh. You haven't heard about that? Hm. Best turn on your television for a news brief.

My Very Own Wolverine: Jay

Jay...
He means so much to me. He's like my brother. I can talk to him about anything. Whether it be guys, girlie things or just something random.
I can rant for an hour about a video game and as soon as I stop, he'd start.
I just don't know what I'd do without him sometimes. He's like my lifeline...or rather, the guy stupid enough to jump in the Jaw infested water to wrestle the gigantic shark while I get away and laugh as I turn to see the sight.

We met a long time ago. We rp'd for a bit and then...he disappeared off the rader. Then, later on, he appeared online on my friends list on messenger. And now...he's the major reason I try to log on each and every day. I spend my mornings and afternoons pondering about what we'll talk about. But it never fails, we talk about everything I imagined and then some. It's like...he doesn't care how weird I am, or how stupid I can be at times.

If I want to rant about something twice in one day, he listens instead of telling me he's already heard it. And that alone means so much to me. No...the thing that means the most to me about him is just that he's there, always. He's busy in college now and he still finds the time to come online and make my day worthwhile.

It's odd. But I love this super fucking awesome dude so much and I'd do anything for him. I'd bitch slap the pope, kidnap Carson Daly(??) and even run though any town in any state wearing a coconut bra and grass skirt yelling, "I GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS...DIDDLY DIDDLY!" Yes...a rather disturbing sight that would probably end with me getting one of those great jackets that let me hug myself. ^.^ I love hugging myself...

But...it's not only the fact that I can tell him anything but the fact that he cracks me up. Most people I know won't play along with stupid, random messages on yahoo. They usually send an "...what?" message. But not him. He goes with it and sometimes...what we come up with...is disturbingly funny.

So, Jay, you're the first person I blogged about in the blog dedicated to the people I love more then anything in the world. I appreciate all the time you've spent listening to this crazy bitch rant and rave, all the times you checked your email and patiently downloaded all the sims 2 pics I've sent and...Jay? Thank you, for being there, period.

Love you like a brother.


~One of those said Disturbingly Funny convos, fresh off the Press~
Dark: I can't beleive you!
Jay: what?
Dark: you....STOLE MY WALLET!
Dark: how could you?
Jay: i gave it back....sorta
Jay: aww
Dark:
Jay: ...you want to get some taco bell?
Dark: .....you don't know anything about me!!!! I HATE taco bell!!!! I hate you!!!! I WANT A E-DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jay:
Dark: besides...I've been IM'ing the gardner
Jay: O.O
Jay: you bitch!!!!
Dark: we're in love....true love! he'd NEVER take me to taco bell!
Dark: i know you are but what am I?
Jay: you die now
Jay: ....fuck she's got me there
Dark: that's another secret I've been keeping...I'm....already dead. I'm....a corpse
Jay: actually i already knew that...but...i still loved you
Dark: liar!
Jay: i don't care if you're dead and rotting and...slightly decomposed
Dark: ....really?
Jay: its your cold unbeating heart that i care about
Dark: ahhh...how romantic!
Jay: *grabs you* kiss me my corspe sugar baby

An Silent Introduction(if you ignore the screams)

I decided to start a new blog. I don't know why though, no one reads any of them. I guess it's just a nice outlet for me sometimes. So it doesn't really matter.
Back to the topic, this blog is dedicated to all the people in my life I love dearly.

A toast, if you will, to all the people who love me well, the rest can go to hell.